Professional Procrastinator

Recently I wrote on my other blog how I have continued to get worse and worse at starting any kind of assignment in advance or even with a decent amount of time. As college has progressed I have needed less and less time to write longer assignments.

Luckily I have less classes now. My first semester of my sophomore year was one of those semesters where every class was running the exact same schedule. As such, they all had a final assignment or final project, in addition to an actual in-class final. Most of the time, when you have one you don't end up having the other. No such luck, here. While I was well aware of the number of assignments that I was responsible for handling, all with due dates that fell in the same week, I did nothing to space them out. Here is a look at what my away message was Sunday night leading into that final week:

oh procrastination
last week of classes and so much stands between me and my freedom:
4 page history paper
8 page philosophy paper
4 page psychology analysis
10 page sociology literary review
(1) 5 minute presentation for statistics
3 Chapter reviews for statistics
5 finals

I tried going back through my files on my computer looking for some of these assignments but I had no luck finding anything. I remember the night before the last day of classes. On this particular day I had three classes, all with a major paper due. This particular day I had a review of a book due for psychology (which was not even included in that list above as something to do) as well as a the 10 page paper for sociology and the 4 page history paper.

I wrapped up the history paper, for the most part, pretty early on in the day. The plan was to be done writing the sociology paper by 9 or 10. My psychology paper, which was due at 8 am, was a pretty simple assingment. I had to review a book released by the woman known as 'Super Nanny' and look at it from a child-psych development perspective and write about it's accuracy. I actually picked this topic as a felt that someone who has the voice of television and now a book should probably be looked at from a psych/developmental standpoint as a way of criticizing her, mostly, untested methods.

Well, as with any paper written by any normal college student, I was unable to stay on task. Midnight came. Midnight went. I think I finally wrapped up my sociology paper around 1:30 am. At this point my roommates had retired and with our room being an 8 by 10 hole in the wall, I moved to the lounge next door. This lounge was never used, so essentially I had an extra room. The downside was that earlier in the semester someone had come into the room and thrown up on the couch. Regardless of the effort of the cleaning staff, the room smelled from then on and even more so when the room got hot. It was April, and unless you opened the windows, the room was a sauna. So, I would go back and forth between opening the window to air the room out, to closing it to warm up - it wasn't incredibly nice out that night and it would get cold rather quickly.

I remember slowly seeing friends change their away messages to ones that signified they had climbed into bed, or they had signed off all together. Eventually, I was the only one left online. It was after 2 am, and I had one paper to go. One paper standing between me and, well, a week of studying for finals and agonizing over these tests - but that night, all it sounded like and tasted like was freedom, and it was so close.

Stupidly I did no prep for this book review. So, at 2 am I began to read through this parenting book written by Super Nanny. That alone has to be a first. A, then, 20 year old male with no kids spending a Wednesday night, after 2 am, speed reading through Super Nanny's book and analyzing it from a psychological standpoint.

I actually remember getting upset and considering giving up. Two a.m. had come and gone, and it was after 3. I was still paging through this book and making notes about it. Around 4 am I began to write. One thing I will say about myself is that once I know what I am going to say, once it is all worked out in my head, I can write incredibly fast. In under an hour a four page paper had developed on the screen. I did not proofread it, I did not scan it for spelling or grammar. I hit save and packed up. I felt spent, but so relieved. It's that feeling that comes after a long and exhausting run or work out. That bitter sweet feeling of being done but having nothing left to give simultaneously. Anyone who has ever had a major assignment hanging over their heads, or anyone who has ever participated in a physically exhausting event knows this sensation - sinking into a blissful state of paralysis. That's exactly what I did. I barely put everything back on my desk before falling into bed. This was one of those nights where having a futon and not having to climb up to my bed was incredible.

Less than 3 hours later my alarm went off. It was time for class. It is not easy to get motivated for a day of classes after a poor night of sleep. Maybe it was the adrenaline my body was running on in order to not collapse, maybe it was knowing everything I had accomplished in the past 24 hours, but I remember feeling quite energized on my walk across Martyrs lawn.

I realize this memory includes no one and effects almost no one. It is however a very vivid college memory of mine. That room felt like the room of an asylum. I could not leave until I had reached my goal. I definitely went through manic and depressive states that night. I felt hopeless and I later felt invincible.

Hopefully, in reading my memory tonight you can relate with a project you may have had in your college experience, a night or a week where you had more than imaginable due and some how you found a way to pull through. All-nighters, last minute binges on an assignment, these nights are a test of just how much we are capable of, and we are left with a triumphant feeling when we walk out of the class it was for, having completed it.

Pat yourself on the back, at some point in the past four years you accomplished something like this, something incredible. Good for you!